NOTE:If you haven’t been following this from the beginning, and if you want to know the full sequence of events.
The surface of Wicket Street has been ground down to the roadbed in preparation for repaving. The ditches are still running high and overflowing at the intersection of Maxwell Avenue, where broken branches and brush along with a discarded tarp, have blocked the culvert. A large puddle is spreading along the Avenue, and I have to cross well up from the light, to avoid it and get to the H Bar parking lot.
I find Lou sitting in our usual Wednesday lunch booth, having already ordered ahead with the app.
“It couldn’t be any more humid out there if it was raining.”
“That monsoon rain last night has stopped the repaving on Maxwell, Wicket and Oval.
“Did you see all that detritus that washed onto Maxwell Ave.?”
“Yes, I think a lot of Diddlie’s mulch made the trip.”
“She just took out all that ivy.”
“Ivy would have held.”
“She calls it, ‘invasive’ and had Mr. Fawkes take it all out with his Bobcat.”
“She is right. It is English Ivy.
“How did it get all over those elite New England colleges?”
“Ivy is a stealthy invader.”
“I guess it comes with green English credentials from medieval abbeys or Scotish castles!”
Lou hasn’t yet cleaned his glasses on his napkin. The waiter puts down a glass of that famous Belgian Pilsner by Stella Artois, for each of us. Now owned by the Anheuser Busch InBev brewing conglomerate.
“Well, thanks, buddy!”
Lou looks up at the waiter.
“Hey buddy, what’s this all about?”
“Complements of Mr. Hoffmann, seeing as how you have been here every Wednesday with the same order for about ten years!”
“Except for COVID.”
“Right, sir. The thing is we are out of french-fries. Would you like some chips instead?”
“How could you be out of fries?”
“The delivery didn’t get through this morning.”
“Not surprising. Our fries are probably in the Potomac by now.”
The waiter asks again about chips.
“Yeah, sorry buddy, I’ll have a small house salad.”
“You want mango or papaya?’
“Is that part of the house salad?”
“It could be if you want.”
“I thought the salad was just lettuce, tomato, cucumber, and croutons?”
“That’s right sir we have no lettuce only arugula.”
“Is that the bitter stuff?”
“Yeah, it’s okay with cream dressing though.”
“You have croutons, right?”
“Sure, we make our own.”
“Make that two house salads with cream dressing and no fruit.”
The waiter turns away.
“Hoffmann is well connected around here.”
“Is that anything to do with the free beers?”
“He hosts a lot of private meetings among congressmen and business.”
“You mean business or political?”
“Hard to separate the two.”
“Patronage you might say.”
“No, No, campaign contributions.”
“Junkets!”
“Yeah, Macadamia has bought a river in Alaska for entertaining his buddies.”
“Trout fishing?”
“Well, there is a problem with the trout.”
“Like dams?”
“It isn’t clear why the fish stopped coming back a few years ago.”
“Maybe it is all that dirty money!”
“Could it be something to do with logging?”
“Maybe there never were any trout!”
“So what good is it?’
“I hear he has fish dropped in specially for his guests.”
“Okay, is this freebee we are enjoying, anything to do with Prestige U. getting that big government research contract?”
“Not that.”
“You mean you have a source somewhere else?”
“Well, I played a small part in getting certain parties together on another matter.”
“Lubricated with liquor and food of course”
“Right upstairs in the Heisenberg Rooms.”
The waiter returns with salads and burgers.
“Gentlemen, here is your cream dressing on the side.”
He gives us each a small paper portion cup full of cream dressing.
“Thanks, buddy.”
Lou dips his fork in the cream dressing.
“How is it?”
“Garlic, salt, and oregano, or basil maybe?”
He tips it over his salad using his knife to scrape out what he can.
“It turns out Mac owns a bank that’s in trouble.”
“I am sure he will weasel out of it!”
“He has had a lot of experience.”
“What kind of trouble is he in now?”
“Laundering money for Russians, oligarchs, and their like.”
“Is this anything new?”
“Fuzzy Leaks released a document dump. That’s what is new.”
“Naming names, does it?”
“Oh yes, there’s ninety-odd thousand pages which have taken a long time to read and sort.”
“You mean you are in on this?”
“Indirectly through an old contact.”
“Okay, so who got paid off?”
“That’s the question!”
“Well, isn’t the answer in the docs.?
“There is evidence of a huge chain of shell companies.”
“Oh of course, all collected on the beach in the Cayman Islands!”
“In a sense, certain British lawyers, and not only British, have made a good living setting things up for gangster clients.”
“That’s what they call ‘Offshore Finance’ I believe.”
“A nice way to hide your money from the tax man.”
“Yeah, I’m the taxman,
I’ll tax the street
(If you try to sit, sit) I’ll tax your seat
(If you get too cold, cold) I’ll tax the heat
(If you take a walk, walk) I’ll tax your feet
(Taxman)”
“Remember that?”
“How could I forget?”
“That’s when George moved to Switzerland.”
“Right, he wouldn’t have to, now.”
“Why not? The Conservatives haven’t reduced taxes that much.”
“SLPs”
“What?”
“Scottish Limited Partnerships.”
“Something to do with a wee dram or a whisky flight?”
“A wee dram I have enjoyed but never a flight!”
“A flight consists of several small servings of different scotches.”
“Like a sampler?”
“Yes, one that may impair your judgment.”
The waiter stops by to check on us.
“Say buddy, we would like two shots of Glenn Fiddich please.”
“On the rocks sir?”
“This air-conditioned room temperature is fine.”
“Thanks, Lou, an appropriate elixir for this discussion!”
“Bear in mind that a limited company is separate, legally from the owner.”
“Well, well!
“Yes, under Scottish law a Limited Partnership can own assets in its name; borrow money and grant security over those assets and enter into contracts on its own behalf.”
“Seems like self-dealing, nice arrangement.”
“Yeah, I have learned a thing or two.”
“So, what happened?”
“First of all, Macadamia’s Prune Stone Group, the mutual fund family, created PS Holdings, a shell company which held assets for, ‘Fruit for Flies’ among many other things. In 2014 it was used to transfer the assets of SnazE Corporation.”
“You mean the big store franchise?”
“The same.”
“Yes, I remember Axel Ensor bought the company whenever that was.”
“It was May 2016 and that is where the story got interesting.”
“So, you mean it was a tax-free transaction?”
“I am not saying that.”
“No, it is probably the sort of thing best left unsaid.”
Our waiter brings the Glenfiddich on a small tray and from which we each take a glass.
“Here’s to that!”
Lou swigs his malt.
“So, PS Holdings are registered to an address in Rosslyn Virginia, which happens to be an efficiency in one of those new glassy towers over there.”
“An efficiency?”
“Yup”
“Well, who lives there?”
“Hard to say. It was rented to a student at Georgetown U. according to a leaked document from 1998.”
“Okay, so who is the owner?”
“No way of finding out.”
“What about all those documents dripping with data and spilled over the internet?”
“The names of these ‘shells’ hide the true owners.”
“That can’t be legal.”
“Maybe not but so much is collected in fees, I don’t think the laws will be changed in the Caymans, London, New York, or any other financial laundromat.”
“Yeah, I always thought a lot more should have fallen out of the Panama Papers revelations.”
“Don’t you remember Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson?”
“Can’t say I do.”
“He was Iceland’s PM when the Panama scandal revealed his family’s involvement and he had to leave office.”
“Okay, that is one case, but only one.”
“Yes, these offshore organizations keep their secrets and enjoy a useful relationship with their local legislators.”
“So, Mac is in the clear?”
“Not quite. Two names associated with the collateral he put up for the loan to buy his Alaskan river dropped out of their shell.”
“In a Fuzzy Leak?”
“I am sure you remember Newsom and Brazov?”
“Sure, Nikita Sergeyevich and Chuck Newsom.”
“That’s it.
“Niki had plenty to hide and his association with Newsom is now revealed.”
“Didn’t Newsom have to sell his mansion down by the river?”
“That part of the financial iceberg was visible but not the rest, and that is where Mac is implicated.”
“Caught with his cold hands full.”
“That’s what it looks like to me.”
