NOTE: If you haven’t been following this from the beginning, and if you want to know the full sequence of events, start with the introduction. Click on Archives on the right.
Bel Vionnet is waiting for Lambert to finish his, “data gathering”, as she calls it. His head is buried in weeds growing out of the roadside ditch; tall grass, yellow flowering Ludwigia, horse thistle and Virginia creeper. He keeps thrusting his head down deeper, with his forepaws spread wide on top of the bank. He looks bedraggled when he backs out. His soaked fur describes the rounded contour of his skull and snout. The ears are draped pathetically in long thin strands of fur, which usually stick up. His head has lost its typical angular shape with thick coarse-growing white fur like a beard and mustache around a black triangular nose.
He stares across the road and waves his nose in the air, straining his neck upward. Perhaps something interesting is wafting out of the huge new house on the Sloot’s old lot.
The broad front porch has a metal roof where starlings have lined up along its edge as if to watch the street life below. Five dormers jut out of the steep-pitched tiled roof above the five second story windows. There has been no work done on the place for months. Though the exterior looks finished in front, only the bottom half the siding is up on the east side leaving the top covered only in Snaz white building wrap. We both follow Lambert’s gaze.
“Have they run out of money?”
“That siding looks cheap next to the brick frontage, don’t you think Fred?”
“Maybe they are waiting for a delivery?”
“The thing might have been too ambitious. That is nearly a half acre of house!”
“With a white keystone above each window.”
“Yes, why Fred? They aren’t arched openings?”
“Decorative, gives it a certain look that conjures ‘dream house’ in the purchaser’s mind.”
“What Denise Scott Brown might have called a ‘Duck’.”
“Who, bel?”
“Denise Scott Brown and Robert Venturi are architects who wrote a famous book called Learning from Las Vegas.”
“Did they learn from Vegas, or loose a bundle?”
“Well, looking around the country, they noticed that the same basic boxy building can have multiple uses depending on what sign you hang on it. They also found a building in the shape of a duck, which was used to sell eggs. So they called buildings trying to look like something else “Ducks” and the more utilitarian ones, “Decorated Sheds”.
“In this case the duck might also be called a “self aggrandizing deceit”, bel! It doesn’t quack like a castle.”
“Fred, the real-estate market calls this a ‘residence’ no mere house or home here.”
“The footprint must be as big as Jake’s place.”
“Yes, Steve thinks Jake financed it.”
More starlings circle around the front of the house raining droppings on us. Then they disappear up into the foliage of a huge willow oak with one jagged broken limb sticking out into the sun.
“What were they feasting on?”
“I don’t see anything but metal bel.”
“Maybe its those elderberries over on the side.” Bel is pointing to a thicket just outside the silt fence.
“Any way bel, is Jake now speculating close to home?”
“No one I know is sure what Jake is doing, Fred.”
Lambert has turned again, moves to the middle of the road and barks repeatedly, looking up wind. It is Steve walking quickly along Wicket Street towards us. He gives Lambert an ear rub as soon as he is within reach. Bel warns us of an oncoming car. The car slows and stops next to us. Lark greets us from behind the wheel of her aged Corolla with a scuffed and faded Obama sticker on the front bumper.
“Have you heard? Juanita Gomez is back.”
“Where Lark?”
“I saw her getting out of Jake’s Hummer last night.”
“So she is still working for him! Where did you see her?”
“Right under the lights in Jake’s driveway bel.”
“Well, what happened to her?”
“She was deported from a Pennsylvania detention center before her case could be heard.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“No, no Fred, I was passing by.”
“I thought she was in Texas.”
“Well Fred, we never knew for sure.”
“No that’s right we didn’t, but I got information from a certain source
that she was sent to Texas.”
“An unreliable source Lark!”
“Yeah, so many are, Steve.”
Bel has drawn Lambert close on his expandable leash to keep him safe from the oncoming car. He barks once, standing on his hind legs with forepaws against the car door and on that signal, bel picks him up to meet Lark through the open window.
“He’s got you well trained bel.”
“Lambert always was a good trainer … I still don’t see why they raided Jake’s place. I mean why did they come after her?”
Lark is petting Lambert’s head and he tries to lick her arm by raising his head, which moves it out of Lark’s reach.
“How did you get so wet Lambert?”
She reaches out to rub his shoulder and he licks her face. Lark splutters.
“Thanks Lambert, I think you just got my lipstick and mascara!”
Bel tries to pull him back a little but he pulls towards Lark with his forepaws and wriggles, and nearly falls into the car.
“Oh well, any way, bel, I think Gayle dropped the ball on getting her papers in to the INS or DHS or whoever it was.”
Steve steps in and lifts Lambert off the door and eases him down on the street. He gives him another ear rub while he grunts in rhythm with Steve’s moving hands. When Steve stands up again Lambert’s ears are down. He looks back up at Steve who has his hand in his pocket. He produces only keys. Lambert tries to climb Steve’s pant leg.
“Steve, what are you doing with that dog?”
“I am getting him away from Lark’s makeup bel, and … I thought I had some treats in this pocket.” He tries his other trouser pockets and cautiously pulls out a cigar caught between third and fourth finger. He seems surprised at what he found.
A sharp metallic crack and then another with more resonance makes Lark sink down in her seat.
“Oh God! Who’s shooting at us?”
“Its hickory nuts Lark”
“Yeah sure Fred, it only takes one nut case with a gun!”
Ha, ha, Lark, be thankful we can laugh! One bounced off the roof and the other off the hood.”
Lambert strains on his leash to chase one, bouncing along the road into the ditch. The leash, still in bel’s grip, brushes his hand as it goes taught under Lambert’s pull, and he fumbles the cigar awkwardly placed between his fingers. Leaves come down as three squirrels chase each other out of the hickory branches above us.
“Its not safe on the streets around here.”
Bel has put her arm up as if to protect her face from air-born hazards. “Bird poop, hickory nuts with twigs and leaves, what next?”
“You want to get in the car bel?”
The squirrel chase moves across the road on a long a thin branch into a maple across the street next-door to the construction. Lambert turns from his first pray and pounces on the cigar rolling on the ground at bel’s feet. He bites it, drops it and presses his shoulder against it, crushing its tobacco into the fresh hickory. He turns on his back and rolls ecstatically in aromatic leaf litter.
“I saw Sherman the other night. He thinks someone set Jake up to embarrass him, and gave the INS information on Juanita that led to the raid.”
“Steve, you never told me that!” Bel is grinning at her husband, and pulling on his sleeve.”
“I know bel. It was an aside. I had asked him … remember? I was telling you about the settlement on the flying ant case with Prestige U.”
“Yes honey, I remember, but you left out the important stuff!”
“I did. I still think our house is bugged.”
“Steve, who do you think is listening?”
“Wish I knew.”
“Why should they be interested in us anyway?”
“Wish I knew that too.”
“Honey, I think paranoia is getting in your way!”
“It is, it is!”
Lark is rubbing her face with a piece of paper towel.
“Bel, no one is safe from snooping now.”
“Lark, have you got all the dog spit off yet?”
“I’ve got all my make up off. I don’t need it today anyway.”
“So how did Juanita get back into the country Lark?”
“I don’t know, do you Steve?”
“Here’s what I got from Sherman. She was released a few days ago.”
“Oh I might have guessed, it’s Shrowd working in the shadows again.”
“Sort of Fred, Sherman brought in Guillermo Visa and he got things rolling. The old lawyer had filed an appeal and asked for a stay of removal. The court gave the Government two weeks to respond. Before the Government responded, the Department of Homeland Security put her on a plane South.”
Lark leans out of her window.
“My God! That’s disgusting! What’s the hurry?”
“Lark, Juanita was treated as an illegal immigrant. They have no rights.”
“What do you mean Steve? She’s a human being.”
” Lark, you have to be an American human to gain the protection of our Constitution and …”
“Right I know, and you have to have the money to fight it out!”
“It also helps to be Caucasian.”
“Doesn’t it though, bel?”
